50 Shades of Grey: Required reading for CA Middle School Students

A California middle school has drawn criticism from activists due to a controversial reading assignment.    Students were required to read 50 Shades of Grey and write a 2-page summary.  Children who read all 3 books and wrote a 3-page summary were given automatic A's.

The middle school teacher, James McCaskill, who also happens to be a priest at the neighborhood Catholic church, St. Augustine, was unavailable for a full interview but when asked if 50 Shades of Grey was really appropriate reading material for children he responded:

"Are you kidding me?  These children are getting dumber by the year.  I can no longer assign books like Where the Red Fern Grows or Old Yeller.  I have to assign overly rudimentary books which appeal to short attention spans, and that means I have to assign overly dumbed down garbage writing like 50 Shades of Grey.  I had originally intended to go with the Twilight books, but I find the concept of vampires fighting werewolves to be a bit controversial.  I can't assign anything less intelligent without having them regress to books about "Red Rover.""

Also, principal Dick Skinner added this:

"Some people are complaining about the adult material.  But with today's budget, we can no longer offer a full Health class, where we would normally cover these sort of topics.  The way I see it, we're just preparing them for a life of American market-driven infotainment.  If people are willing to spend money on it, it must be better than that which people aren't.  Heck it's even a movie now, that means it's really popular. Checkmate haters!"